Words

Words have power. They bring life and death. You can destroy your children or your marriage with words as you most certainly can build them up and bring healing. The Amplified translation of the Bible says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words." Another translation...."What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences." Proverbs 18:21

Those who have had troubled or traumatic childhoods have most likely reaped the result of words of adults that were knowingly or unknowingly meant to destroy.  I was threatened on multiple occasions to keep "the secret" or else...and all results of not keeping that secret would be my responsibility. That was much too much for a child to bear. 

So I learned to keep those words deep inside. As I grew up, I continued to struggle voicing my own words. Shame helped keep them inside as well. Through a rough, verbally abusive marriage, I continued to keep those words hidden. Oh I did try to voice them, but was put down or just told that that wasn't true. Don't get me wrong, I was a "successful" professional who used her words carefully to bring truth and life to many children and their families. Most friends were kept at a safe distance and never truly knew me. But the real truth, my truth, my words, my story....that has remained largely hidden. 

But I truly believe God is giving me the courage to use my voice, my story, to bless others. So I'm on this journey to do just that. Fear has already tried to stop me, even shame has tried to lift it's ugly head against me, but I will speak of His love, His redemption and His absolute healing, because He loves us so. What he can do for me, and has done for me, He can and will do for you if you simply ask and trust Him. 

Blessings to all in the name of our Lord Jesus. 

My Voice

  I started this blog over ten years ago. I don't really recognize the woman who wrote those older notes. But, that's a good thing! But there has been much healing over these years. Since then, my husband died a painful death, our marriage had disintegrated greatly by then. My son graduated college and moved to a foreign country. I retired, bought an RV, traveled extensively, wrote my story and many poems too and settled in California. There's lots more to that story for another day. 

The most significant change has been the depth of my relationship with Jesus. Not a religion, a relationship. A daily walking and talking and listening relationship. I've finally begun to realize how much He really loves me and I've allowed Him access to the deepest parts of my soul and spirit. The result is an incredible amount of healing, freedom to become the best me , freedom to love myself and others at a deeper level, joy and peace. That last one has been a long time coming.

I feel an intense desire to know Him more intimately, hear Him well, and walk with Him anew in ways I've not known before. I'm on a cross country journey right now, partly to visit elderly family. But I believe this journey is about spiritual growth more than anything. The Lord has told me it's about finding my voice again. Learning to speak out His truth and how it has changed my life so miraculously, thus becoming My truth. 

So here's to a fresh new journey. I look forward with great anticipation to see what the Lord has in store for me. And I invite you along for the ride. 

Blessings to all.