Girl Friends

Well, I went to visit with the girlfriends. Now, they were friends in college that I hadn't seen in 30 years. They weren't my best friends. They had been in classes with me and in clubs. They had seen some of each other over the years, but I had not seen any of them. So, while I felt that my idea of getting together to visit with this sick friend was a good idea, I was also anxious.

But, things went well. We got along fabulously. And I found that over time I could be real. They were not interested in playing a good face of the perfect Christian. They were interested in being real. So while one shared of the heart ache of birthing dead children and the other shared of aging parents and their problems, I shared of my childhood and the drama therein. I shared for awhile and stopped. And asked if that was too much. They were interested and not at all put off by my imperfectness. I could not have done this 30 years ago while attending college. But I was able to do this now. They were receptive, not put off. I was accepted, as an imperfect person who had struggled because of abuse. But I was accepted as a born again Christian, just like them. My struggles were foreign to them, but not beyond that which our God can forgive and repair. Wow. I could not have anticipated better.

And further, we were able to talk about real life now. Grown women and their needs for conversation and sharing and communion together. I was encouraged to find some other Christian women, not condemned, encouraged. I know that when I share my experiences as I journey this path, I will be encouraged by these friends. I am encouraged already. I have friends, long distance though they be, they do care about he real me and they want me to succeed as a Christian, as a woman, as an Overcomer. Wow. Sometimes, I am surprised by the human factor. God is good. Talk to you later sisters!

Old Friends and New

I'm heading off to visit with a college friend who has been ill. Two other friends will be joining us. We haven't been together since the early 80's. So much has changed since then. But I feel a bond that was there so many years ago. BUT, here's the problem. Back then, I did not talk about my abuse. It was a secret I kept well hid. I didn't know how to deal with it then, but I do now. So, do I share this with my friends?

I guess we'll have to see the level of honesty and openness that develops with us. All of us have had ups and downs, difficulties and victories, some things have happened that we could never have imagined. Can we trust and share? I guess that remains to be seen. I shall hold my peace and share if it is appropriate.

I think there are those who can handle that level of honesty and those who cannot. Discerning this can be difficult. As an abuse overcomer, I am learning to trust more and be open with others. Fear still jumps in there sometimes. But there is some level of caution that is necessary when sharing my past. So that is where the struggle lies. I am tempted to say nothing. But in a way that is denying myself with these friends. I guess I will have to trust my heart, my instincts and my faith. Hmmmm. Isn't that what a healthy, healed individual does?